Funny zodiac horoscopes

You always give great compliments. You have a great body and great physical looks. Your smile is sexy and your laughter is even sexier. Taurus: You have an impeccable taste for literally everything, you are the biggest hedonist out there and you simply know how to live.

And you love life itself which comes in many forms. You have a cheerful spirit, intriguing mentality and even a greater heart. You are capable of putting up with so much shit and staying sane, haters can just stay jealous. You have the power to crack the earth in two when you witness negativity and you will. Gemini: Your intelligence, style and communication skills know no borders.

You are always the funny one, and even while some people might think that you're a drama queen or a double-faced attention whore, you just know that it isn't true. And you don't fight them but you let them learn it themselves that you're not a double-faced backstabber who hurts people for fun. You just love supporting people and making their lives better.

Cancer: You are literally one of the sweetest experiences one could ever have. You can teach people a lot, and you can stay strong through a lot of shit in your life. You are pure, innocent, loving and caring. You give the best hugs out there and you know how to satisfy people.

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You are full of positivity and you always put people's needs before yours. You can stand up and keep an insanely happy face even you're being torn apart inside. You are strong and you are one of the most sensitive people out there, which makes you really strong. Leo: You have this cheerful spirit and you radiate with alluring energy.

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People might accuse you of wanting to be the center of attention but you deserve to be the center of attention because you are special and you know what you're capable of. You just want to assure people that you're a person who's capable of many things and you can lead yourself and people to greatness. You are a natural born supporter and you simply know how to make people's lives better.

Virgo: You are really a person who's great in many spheres of life.

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You're deep. People might accuse you of being overcritical and a perfectionist, but don't let them bring you down. Yes, you are critical and you are a perfectionist but that's because you just want everything to be alright. You suffer from tons of anxiety when you want to achieve something but believe me, it will pay off. Just stay strong and don't listen to people who say that you're very silent and unsuccessful because you have the potential to surpass them all. You are a great thinker, a very intelligent person and you are one of the biggest go-getters out there. Stay strong and you will succeed in whatever it is you want.

You know how to fix people's problems and you are born to help.

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Libra: You are a person who radiates with positive energy. You are a beacon of happiness and you are one of the most creative people out there.

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  7. You know how to care for people and you know how to love. God damn it, you have impeccable style and you know how to dress. You are appealing and both your physical and mental beauty are dominant when you enter a room of new people. You are a big, big person with even a bigger heart than your body and you know how to give people an advice. Those pieces of advice you give, often fix people's problems. You are beautiful. You are admirable. You are capable of many things and you know how to get shit done. Scorpio: You are a person who's capable of many things.

    People usually think that you're too intense, childish, evil and vengeful but you're not. You just know how to have fun and you love making people's lives better. You are a master of telling jokes. Your eyes can penetrate deep inside a person's soul and see the sadness inside that person. And you will help that person. You help people on a daily basis, even if they don't see it. Most of the time you are very sad and you suffer inside because you think that people don't see what you've done for them, and that is okay.

    But believe me, they do see what you've done for them. And if anyone wrongs you or a person you love, you can avenge yourself or that person you love. On September 23, the fall equinox arrives and Libra season officially begins. The seventh sign of the zodiac is associated with balance, beauty, and sociab.

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    On Monday, September 23, day and night will be equal length, and autumn will officially begin. So when the platform Keen invited me.

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    This Friday will fall on September 13th. Cue the spooky music. Friday the 13th has long been considered an unlucky day. But why? There are a few different. The Taurus makes their loud, give-me-more personality a living punch line. Podcast whatsyoursignpodcast on Mar 16, at pm PDT. The Cancer is a sign that adjusts their sense of humor depending on their audience.

    As an intuitive, loyal, and emotional sign , the Cancer is able to read a room or a person and adjust their sense of humor accordingly. The Cancer is as effective at telling at joke at a room at a preschool as a room at a nursing home.